I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Randomize
