I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
