Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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