ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
