i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
