we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
