just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
