OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
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