saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
