dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize