they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
