I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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