it's like iHOP with fire
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
