is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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