Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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