Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
