READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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