Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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