Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i out mim tonsoeep
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
