Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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