He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Randomize