I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize