I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
