i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
