i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Randomize
