I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
My penis needs a shock collar
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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