So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
