Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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