Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
