I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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