Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
