did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize