he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
