Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
