life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize