My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I love you. Go after that dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
