i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize