I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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