Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
