The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
