did you get engaged???
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
