But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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