I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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