It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
