Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
