She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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