My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
