Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Four minutes until I can fart!
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize
