I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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