and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
