i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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