how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize