So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
