Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
