ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
