the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
