I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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