So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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