Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
