He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Dick very happy bro
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
