How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
