i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
