I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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