The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
