All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize