No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
