Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize