Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
