Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
