Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
