I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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