i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
