seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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