i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
