idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
