i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
