Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
