I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
