so explain again why im purple
no
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
