it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
